Brian Ladd’s Blog – Notes on Life

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Quotes of Interest

I have found these quotes all over the Internet.

Some are funny, some are thought provoking, each I find interesting.
I have tried to give appropriate credit when available.


REMEMBER: Data you didn’t back up, was data you didn’t really want.


Windows is same as whores: They both have massive hole and full of viruses.


After being interviewed by the school administration, the teaching prospect said,

‘Let me see if I’ve got this right:

‘You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their
disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their
dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages, and instill in them a love
for learning.

‘You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs
and sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem
and personal pride.

‘You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship,
sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a
checkbook, and apply for a job.You want me to check their heads for
lice, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, and make sure that they
all pass the state exams.

‘You want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of
their handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents by
letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.

‘You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a
bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that
qualifies me for food stamps.

You want me to do all this and then you tell me:

I CAN’T PRAY?


“Firearms stand next in importance to the Constitution itself. They are
the American people’s liberty teeth and keystone under independence…
From the hour the Pilgrims landed, to the present day, events,
occurrences, and tendencies prove that to ensure peace, security, and
happiness, the rifle and pistol are equally indispensable…

The very atmosphere of firearms everywhere restrains evil interference — they deserve a place of honor with all that’s good.”
— George Washington.


While travelling near Tampa, Florida I passed the “Jehovah’s Witness
Assembly Hall” and was struck by the fact that that must be where they
make them.


Three can keep a secret if two are dead.
— Ben Franklin


Life: ‘lIf, noun.
A whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.


Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a minute, but set him on
fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.


“If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it people will
eventually come to believe it.”
— Joseph Goebbels


The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the
right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting
moment.


Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the
entrails of the last priest.


“What is this talk of ‘release’? Klingons do not make software
‘release’.
Our software ‘escapes’ leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality
assurance people in it’s wake.”
— Klingon Programmer


“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the
bad girls live.”


S et a goal

U nderstand

C harity

C ourage

E nthusiasm

S elf-confidence

S elf-control


What’s the height of conceit?

Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.


The truths of religion are never so well understood as by those who
have lost the power of resoning.
— Voltaire


A nation of sheep will beget a government of wolves.
— Edward R Murrow


“It’s true that the law can’t make a man love me. But it can keep him
from lynching me and I think that’s important.”

— Dr. Martin Luther King


I thought the truth was out there. I heard it scratching at the wire
door, but when I went to let it in, aliens had abducted it.


We’re all out of milk, so I had to put blueberry yogurt on my cereal.
Don’t.


In a world without walls and fences who needs gates and windows…?


Thought For The Day: “An untidy mind is the playground of chaos, but a
smart mind is the playground for my bullets if you keep mouthing off,
bitch!”


There is a certain freedom in being totally screwed. It means that
nothing you do is going to make it any worse.


The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always
so certain of themselves, and wiser people are so full of doubts.


“When the majority of the people have a clear-cut criteria to go by,
criticism and self-criticism can be conducted along proper lines,
and these criteria can be applied to people’s words and actions to
determine whether they are fragrant flowers or poisonous weeds.”

— Mao Tse-Tung


Blessed are those who expect nothing, For they shall not be
disappointed.


Ahhhhh isn’t that cute…..KILL IT KIIIILLLLLL IIIITTTTT!


I had to fight my way to the top of the food chain, to become a
vegetarian?


Glory may be fleeting, but obscurity is forever.


The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is
suffering from some form of mental illness.
Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it’s you.


I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.


Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?


“Macintosh might not do everything right but at least we knew that the
millenium was coming” –unknown


‘Only the weak are afraid to die.

The strong conquers death’

— Reaver


It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in
laboratory rats.


“I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian
because I hate plants”


We are Microsoft. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile


“I get enough exercise just pushing my luck”


Jesus Saves

….Passes to Buddha! He shoots! He Scores!!!!!!!


“Jesus saves!”

“Cthulhu with the rebound – He scores!”


A leader’s role is to raise people’s aspirations for

what they can become and to release their energies so

they will try to get there.

— David Gergen


“My life as a shephard has taught me how to slaughter the sheep.”


“Debating unix flavors in the context of anything Microsoft is like
talking

about which ice cream flavor tastes least like sawdust with turpentine

sauce.”

— void, a.s.r.


Percussive Maintenance
The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it

to work again.


Why are we here but to dream?


You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong


We are Troll. Resistance is *Futile*. You will be Spitted &
Roasted!


Every man’s work is a portrait of himself.


There are 3 billion women who don’t look like supermodels and only 8
that do…


Don’t try to outweird me, three-eyes.
I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.

— Zaphod Beeblebrox


Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but looking together in
the same direction.

— Antoine de Saint-Exupery


The penalty for bigamy is having two mothers-in-law.


The fewer the facts the stronger the opinion.


Great minds discuss ideas, mediocre minds discuss events, SMALL minds
discuss people.


Eternity is Always Further Than We Can See, And Closer Than We Think


Jesus loves you.

Everyone else thinks you are an idiot.


Staring at rockets departing, yearning, you don’t reach a star.


Conan, what is best in life?

To paint your miniatures, to see them driven before you on the table,
and to hear the lamentation of the cheese-mongers!


Passionate love is a three way process of the body, mind and spirit.


Calmness of the mind relaxes the soul within.


You will never win a war, by dying for you country.

You win it, my making the other, poor dumb bastard, die for his.
— General Patton


There can be no reconciliation where there is no open warfare.

There must be a battle, a brave boisterous battle, with pennants waving
and cannon roaring, before there can be peaceful treaties and
enthusiastic shaking of hands.

— Mary Elizabeth Braddon (1837-1915), English writer.

Lady Audley’s Secret (1862).


“As long as there are wolves in the world it is useless for sheep to
make laws against eating meat.”


Our whole world, everywhere we look, all forms of good will to your
neighbor are being undermined by the search for ways to obstruct for
profit.
Fifty years ago, various people in the Mafia would go around to stores
in the neighborhood and say:
“You have a nice building there. It would be a shame, wouldn’t it, if
it burned down, and there have been a lot of fires around here lately.
I think you need some protection.”
And this was called the protection racket.
Now we have people going to computer users and saying,
“You’ve got some nice software there, but I paid those congressmen to
say it’s illegal for you to have it.
A lot of people have been going to jail around here lately for that.
You wouldn’t want to go to jail, would you? I think you need to pay me
some money.”

And this is the software protection racket.

— Richard Stallman Feb 1987


Courage is not the lack of fear, but the respect of it.


The truth of the world can be found sitting at the riverside.
The river never begins, the river never ends.
All of life is like the river.
Lessons never begin and lessons never end.

— Soul of Akodo


With tranquility, the small departs and the great arrives with
auspicious success.


I have taken a vow of poverty, annoy me by sending money


“Expert Predictions”

——————–

“Everything that can be invented has been invented.”

Charles H. Duell, Office of Patents, 1899

“There will never be a bigger plane built.”

A Boeing engineer, after the first flight of the 247,

a twin engine plane that carried ten people.

“Ours has been the first, and doubtless to be the last, to visit

this profitless locality.”

Lt. Joseph Ives after visiting the Grand Canyon in 1861.

“There is not the slightest indication that nuclear energy will

ever be obtainable. It would mean that the atom would have to

be shattered at will.”
Albert Einstein, 1932

“We don’t like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out.”

Decca executive, 1962, after turning down the Beatles.

“It will be years–not in my time–before a woman will become Prime
Minister.”
Margaret Thatcher, 1974

“With over 50 foreign cars already on sale here, the Japanese auto

industry isn’t likely to carve out a big slice of the US market.”

Business Week, August 2, 1968

“Computers may weigh no more than 1.5 tons.”

Popular Mechanics, 1949

“There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.”

Ken Olson, president of Digital Equipment Corp. 1977

“This telephone’ has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered

as a means of communication.”
Western Union memo, 1876

“No imaginable commercial value. Who would pay for a message sent

to nobody in particular?”
David Sarnoff’s associates in response to his urging investment
in the radio in the 1920’s.

“Who wants to hear actors talk?”
H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927.

“I’m just glad it’ll be Clark Gable who’s falling on his face and

not Gary Cooper.”
Gary Cooper, after turning down the lead role in Gone With The Wind.

“Market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not

soft and chewy cookies like you make.”

Response to Debbi Fields’ idea of Mrs. Fields’ Cookies

“We don’t need you. You haven’t got through college yet.”

Hewlett Packard excuse to Steve Jobs, who founded Apple Computers
instead.

“I think there’s a world market for about five computers.”

Thomas J. Watson, chairman of the board of IBM.

“The bomb will never go off. I speak as an expert in explosives.”

Admiral William Leahy, U.S. Atomic Bomb Project.

“Airplanes are interesting toys, but they are of no military value
whatsoever.”
Marechal Ferdinand Fock, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de
Guerre

“Stocks have reached a permanently high plateau.”

Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University, 1929

“No matter what happens, the U.S. Navy is not going to be caught
napping.”
U.S. Secretary of Navy, December 4, 1941

“While theoretically and technically television may be feasible,

commercially and financially it is an impossibility.”

Lee DeForest, inventor

“Radio has no future. Heavier-than-air flying machines are

impossible. X-rays will prove to be a hoax.”

William Thomson, Lord Kelvin English scientist, 1899


A monk asked the Shinsei:
“What are the teachings of a lifetime?”

The Shinsei said to him:
“An appropriate statement.”


“If one begins with the big questions of ‘Who am I?’ and ‘Why am I
here?’,

the understanding of the roads back in history seem as important as the
ones forward,
whether or not it pertains to the individual or collective, to the
subject of love or the control of information.”
— Loreena McKennitt.


Any idiot can handle a crisis, it’s this day to day living that wears
you down.

— Anton Chekhov


Strategy is the craft of the warrior. Commanders must enact the craft,
and troopers should know this Way.
— Miyamoto Musashi


“Last time we mixed religion and politics, people got burned at the
stake ”


“Due to current economic restraints, the light at the end of the tunnel
has been cut off until further notice”!


be vewy vewy quiet I’m hunting twanids eheheheh.

— Commander Fudd


Soul of Akodo

When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced.
Live so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.


Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three time is enemy action.


If we know the speed of light, Then how fast is DARK ???


I do not know with what weapons the third World War will be fought, but
I know that the fourth will be fought with sticks and stones.
– Albert Einstein


Harver’s Law

A drunken man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts.


The great obstacle to discovery is not ignorance, it is the illusion of
knowledge.

— Daniel J. Boorstein


This is not about the world that we inherited from our forefathers.

It is about the world we have borrowed from our children !!


So what if i’m paranoid, it doesn’t hurt anyone and makes life
interesting for me


The summation of intelligence contained on the planet is a constant
only the head count increases


All that makes existence valuable to anyone, depends on the enforcement
of restraints upon the actions of other people.

— J S Mill


Difference in religion breeds more quarrels than difference of
politics.

— Wendell Phillips, Speech, 7 November 1860


“The world is my country, science my religion.”

— Christiaan Huygens


A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk I have a work station…


If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with,
“Quit while you’re ahead”?


What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?


I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more
as they get older then it dawned on me . . .
They were cramming for their finals!


Everyone wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

— Anonymous


“It’s all Greek to me.”

— Alexander – 323 B.C.


Forgive me Father for I know not what I do


“When a true genius appears in this world, you shall know him by this
sign, that the dunces are all in a confederacy against him”

— Jonathan Swift


If you don’t disagree with me, how will I know I’m right?


Murphy’s Law of Sex #31

If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into
our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.


In my world life is motionless, moving only to the impluses of
imagination!


Knowledge is a wonder
Unused, only a promise
Untested, A waste –
Abused much too often (just look around)


Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human
beings infinite distances continue to exist,

a wonderful living side by side can grow up, if they succeed in loving
the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see each
other whole against the sky.

— Rainer Rilke


Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

— Elbert Hubbard


Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off
their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.

— Mark Twain


The ignorant man always adores what he cannot understand.

— Cesare Lombroso, “The Man of Genius”


Stolen pleasures are sweetest.


Sadder still to watch it die than never to have known it.

For you the blind who once could see….The bell tolls for thee.


I thought I had a life…until I found this place.


Only the innocent need attorneys, the GUILTY can lie for themselves….


It amazes me that people can not find money to buy medicine but they
can find the money for a coffin.

— Annan, April, 1998


Be a better psychiatrist and the world will beat a psychopath to your
door.


I am Ginsu of BORG. You will be assimilated. But WAIT! THERE’S MORE!


Murphy’s Eighth Law: If everything seems to be going well, you have
obviously overlooked something.


Windows computers are by far the most popular computers, with about 70
million machines in use worldwide.
Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far
more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a
higher life form.


“Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind.”

— Albert Einstein


The Evolution of Nations

1: From bondage to spiritual faith.

2: From spiritual faith to great courage.

3: From courage to liberty.

4: From liberty to abundance.

5: From abundance to selfishness.

6: From selfishness to complacency.

7: From complacency to apathy.

8: From apathy to dependency.

9: From dependency to bondage.


Each hour wounds – the last kills.


In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play.

— Friedrich Nietzsche


We shall not cease from exploration.

And the end of all our exploring

Will be to arrive where we started

And to know the place for the first time.”

— ELIOT, Little Gidding


The IRS wants to hear of your financial success:
net-abuse@nocs.insp.irs.gov


“Oops, I’ve said too much. Smithers, use the amnesia ray.”

“You mean the revolver, sir?”

“Precisely. Be sure to wipe your own memory clear when you’re
finished.”

— Mr. Burns and Smithers, The Simpsons


Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.

— Pulilius Syrus


A Woman’s Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you’re going to
have trouble with it.
— Women’s restore, Dick’s Last Resort. Dallas, Texas.


No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of
putting up with her crap.
— Men’s Room, Linda’s Bar and Grill., Chapel Hill, North Carolina.


“There are no facts, only interpretations.”
— Friedrich Nietzsche


“The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it’s
unfamiliar territory”
— Paul Fix


My goddess gave birth to your god.


Heller’s Law: The first myth of management is that it exists.

Johnson’s Corollary: Nobody really knows what is going on anywhere
within the organization.


Promote diversity. You’ll love the selection…


“The golden opportunity you are seeking is in yourself.
It is not in your environment; it is not in luck or chance, or the help
of others; it is in yourself alone.”


“The greatest wealth is to live content with little, for there is never
want where the mind is satisfied.”

De Rerum Natura,57 B.C.

— Lucretius (96?-55 B.C.) Roman Poet


If the blues don’t kill you, Brother, they’ll make you a mighty, mighty
man.


It is common sense to take a method and try it.

If it fails, admit it frankly and try another.

But above all, try something.

— Franklin D. Roosevelt, Speech, 22 May 1932


But when the blast of war blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the tiger;

Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,
Disguise fair nature with hard-favor’d rage;

Then lend the eye a terrible aspect.

— Shakespeare, Henry V


Maxim 1070: I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

— Publilius Syrus


Money is truthful. If a man speaks of honor, make hime pay cash.


The only problem with being a man of leisure is that you can never stop
and take a rest.


Because I want to be young and wild, and then I want to be middle aged
and rich, and then I want to be old and annoy people by pretending that
I’m deaf.
— Lord Blackadder


The truth is incontrovertible. Panic may resent it; ignorance may
deride it; malice may distort it; but there it is.

– Winston Churchhill


It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong…

— Voltaire


Sex is a three-lettter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter
words to convey its full meaning.


Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed.

— Mao Zedong, “Quotations from Chairman Mao”, 1966


Keyboard: Device used to input errors into the computer


The only place that I want data loss in on my credit cards.


Every time I think I know where it’s at, they move it.


Government lies, and newspaper lie, but in a democracy they are
different lies.


A grapefruit is a lemon that had a chance and took advantage of it.

— Oscar Wilde


“Make something idiot proof, and someone will invent a better idiot.”


Show me a person who doesn’t like french fries and I’ll eat their’s.

— Jack


Be braver – you can’t cross a chasm in two small jumps.


There is no substitute for good manners, except, perhaps, fast
reflexes.


What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies.

— Aristotle


Serenity through viciousness.


If you pick up a starving dog and make hime prosperous, he will not
bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.

— Mark Twian


I cannot belive in a God who wants to be praised all the time.

— Nietzsche


Idiot, n.:

A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs
has always been dominant and controlling.

— Ambose Bierce, “The Devil’s Dictionary”


People who know little are usually great talkers, while men who know
much say little.

— Jean Jacques Rousseau, “mile, ou de l’education”, 1762


If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.

— Maslow


Being good through life ’cause you might go to heaven is like shutting
your eyes through a movie ’cause you might get your money back.

— A. Whitney Brown


Fiction completes the individual who has only one life, but desires a
thousand.


I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who endowed us with
sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forego their use.

— Galileo Galilei


We’ve all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters
will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare.
Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

— Professor Robert Silensky of California University


I’d Love to go out with you, but I’m taking Punk Totem Pole carving.


“Definition of a biggot”

A conservative winning an argument with a liberal.


Politicians are the same all over, they promise to build a bridge where
there is no water. (seems I’ve heard this recently)

— Nikita Krushchev


A government that is big enough to give you all you want, is big enough
to take it all away.


They have gun control in Cuba, they have universal health care in Cuba,
so why do they want to come to here?


A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can be assured of the support
of Paul.


One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is being
governed by your inferiors.


An election is nothing more than an advanced auction of stolen goods.


I’am convinced we can do with guns what we have done with drugs, create
a multi-billion dollar underground market which we have no control of.


When you subsidize poverty and failure, you get more of both.


MTV may talk about lighting fires and killing children, but Janet Reno
actually does something about it


Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car
keys to teenage boys

— P.J. O’Rourke


If time heals all wounds, how come the belly button stays the same?


There is no difference between theory and practice in theory,
but there is often a great deal of difference between theory and
practice in practice.


If you sit down to a poker game and don’t see a sucker, get up.

You’re the sucker.


Life would be so much easier if we could just look at the source code.


The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the
crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no
one has ever been.

— Alan Ashley-Pitt


“It is impossible for anyone to begin to learn what he believes he
already knows”

— EPICTETUS (c. A.D. 55-c. 135)


Never forget that knowlege is power;

and the key to universal potential.

— Unknown


WIN-95 ………… from the Guys who gave us EDLIN!


REALITY.SYS corrupted: Reboot universe? (Y/N/Q)


Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic


“…if, as rational beings…, we place our needs and desires above the
needs of our society,…

there is no community. I have seen this way of selfishness. I have seen
it fail miserably.”


Knowledge is useless if you don’t share it…


“Duct tape is like the Force, It has a light and dark side and Binds
the universe together”


Reality is a crutch for those who can’t handle wargames.


My mech is my window to the world. My laser is my point and click
interface.


The human mind ordinarily operates at only ten percent of its capacity
the rest is overhead for the operating system.


Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (S)mack the damn thing


And in 1996 mankind had reached the state where they were debating
whether or not computers were alive and what rights the computers had
while completely ignoring the homeless struggling to survive in the
city.


True evil entered the world not with the first sin, nor even with the
first murder.
It came when an otherwise decent man first looked at a sinner, and at a
guiltless stranger with a similar appearance…
and punished both of them.
— (Stolen, and wonderful)


Money is the root of all evil. Send $19.95 for more information.


When they took the fourth amendment, I was quiet because I didn’t deal
drugs!

When they took the sixth amendment, I was quiet because I was innocent.

When they took the second amendment, I was quiet because I didn’t own a
gun!

Now they’ve taken the first amendment, and I can say nothing about it.


There is a light switch in my house that does not turn anything on or
off.

Every now and then I would walk by and flip the switch.

Three months later I got a letter from Germany saying:

Cut it out!


It’s a sad comment on urban living when you see a Battle Master mug a
Pheonix Hawk in a blind alley.


Who is General Protection Fault and why is he messing around in my
kernal?


Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface


Believe in the bible? Sure, I’ve seen one.


Do Not Walk In Front Of Me.I Will Not Follow.

And Do Not Walk Behind Me, I cannot Lead You.

Please Just Walk Beside Me and Be My Friend.


Religion and sex are powerplay,
Manipulate the people for the money they pay.

Selling skin, selling God,

The numbers look the same on their credit cards.

Politicians say no to drugs,

While we pay for wars in South America

Fighting fire with empty words,

While the banks get fat and the poor stay poor and the rich get rich
and the

cops get paid,
to look away

As the one percent rules America

— Queensryche, Empire


* When information is outlawed, only outlaws will have information *


“I do not find in orthodox Christianity one redeeming feature.”

— Thomas Jefferson


“One dead is a tragedy, thousand deads are a statistic.”

— Karl Marx


yesterday is history

tomorrow’s a mystery

today is a gift

that’s why they call it the present


The other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I
wondered, “Where the fuck is my ROOF ?!?”


For those of you who think that the most erotic organ in the human body
is… the human mind.


“Only two things are infinite-the universe and human stupidity…

and I’m not sure about the former. ”

— Albert Einstein


C> Warning: REALITY.SYS may be corrupt. Reboot universe(y/n)?


“Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes!”


“Great Spirits Have Always Encountered Violent Opposition From Mediocre
Minds”

— Albert Einstein


whisper

An angel stands in starkness white

Surrounded by leaves dead and brittled

She waits for rebirth of the yellows and greens

In her hand she holds a whisper


“Internet = home shoplifting network”

— Author Unknown


“If all else fails, read the directions.”

— Author Unknown


“If it doesn’t work, hit it; if it breaks, it needed replacing

anyways.”

— Murphy’s Lawbook


“POWER EMINATES FROM THE BARREL OF A GUN”

— Habib Delgado

“INSECURE DUMBASSES RELY ON GUNS FOR A FEELING OF POWER”

— Postal – in a followup


Remember: The smell of a crowded elevator is different for a midget.


When you’re arguing with a fool, make sure he isn’t doing the same
thing.


“There are two major products to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We

don’t believe this to be a coincidence.” — Unknown


I used to feel bad because I had no woman, until I met a man who had no
hands.


Q: Who’s the most popular guy at a nudist camp?

A: The one who can carry 2 cups of coffee, and 6 donughts at once.

Q: Who’s the most popular woman at a nudist camp?

A: The one who can eat 6 donughts at once.


The biggest difference between time and space is that you can’t reuse

time.

— Merrick Furst


The shortest distance between two points is through Hell.

— Brian Clark


Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.


Government [is] an illusion the governed should not encourage.

— John Updike


They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.

— Benjamin Franklin, 1759

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